Since childhood, you are the onlooker of your friend’s family where he was raised in the most restricted environment a child who always dread to be in. He awaits a nod from his parents to go out for playing football, to take a trip out with his friends and for various other silly reasons. He is being pinpointed for scoring lesser marks than his school mates and is always compelled to excel in activities he is not born to even average at. On the other hand, you witness your neighborhood, where parents work to feed their family and to win luxuries for their child.
You see that their child is thrown in the lap of luxuries. You notice this boy growing up with his friends as his parents give a lack of attention and time to him. Although they had such vivid family backgrounds, one day you find them tainted as drug addicts. Questions might now be popping up in your heads as to where was the loophole? If giving space to your children or hovering around as ‘parents’ in their own space ultimately proves to be the same sad case then what is the third alternative?
When kids turn out as the best or worst version of themselves, parenting is questioned and quoted. There are many books published and sessions conducted on ‘What parenting is? How to keep your kids happy? ’and yet many fail as parents and kids get inclined to the street side company. There is a simple way to deal with your child. Stop being his parent. This is the reason why people fail to be their kids’ confidant.
There are few keys that you need to unlock this door and take out this discrepancy between you both. The reason why we fail as being ‘parents’ is we assume ourselves to be someone big. Big in terms of experience, status, and age. Parenting since ages have been unknowingly or knowingly dominating in nature and kids have been used to this fact and grow up to be the same kind parents in future. Only if we would know what does it actually cost to be a parent! The parent is not being someone’s mother or father is being someone’s friend.
Parenting is a bad habit
This should be something very easy to digest. There have been cases when children refrain to go to tuitions or schools because of their less lenient teachers. But after a certain age, they start enjoying their school days because now their school time is not all about teachers but also about friends.
Parents from ages have been too strict or too pampering towards their child that they fail to rectify or praise them at the right time. Only because you were born 20 years earlier than your child does not make you a God-man or god women in the first place. Secondly, we need to understand that your role as a mother or father is done and dusted once you deliver the child and feed it during its initial stages. This child after its birth has its own life. It is in no way liable to work, play, eat, drink or build relationships as per your verdicts.
This dictatorship within the four walls on an immature being should end. And then we write a thesis and deliver articles and lectures on the generation gap. If you decipher this simple logic that this parent-child rift is not due to the trending world but because of the cruel parenting, then this relationship will be much more sorted and easy to deal with. Only then will you be able to secure your and the child’s life.
Be a friend and not a parent
Growing a plant cannot be done in between walls of your home. Similarly, children cannot grow under any influences be it yours or the external. There has to be a space where the child sits and ponders on why you as his mother and you as her father behave in a particular way. Well, you need to be a man and a lady before you want that in your child to get reflected.
You enforce on the kids to score the highest and top colleges and universities without giving them slightest motivation or a piece of reflection of it in yours. How can you accept mangoes from the seed of a banana tree? You need to be the one before you want results.
Tips to raise happy kids
To make this more sensible, tell me how do you make friends? You get bonded easily with like-minded people, don’t you? This is the same case between you and your kids. If you make a spectacle of your dominant nature how can you expect submissive to follow you? They can obey you, but can never follow you. They will respect you but in the long way to go, they make not look upon you.
- Be a friend. A selfless, matured and an older friend who has gone through odds before this newborn will ever come across.
- Be true to them. The moment you fake they catch it and they subconsciously start following you. If this ever happens no one is to blame but you.
- Tell them stories, relate them with real-time situations. Spend time with them if you are working couple.
- No need to push your children, let life do it. Let them face consequences and let them take the challenges. You as a parent are only to guard them against negativities and odds that come their way.
- Every year plan a family trip. This gives them a sense of relief that no matter what they will never lose this bond ever. Try out things that please them.
- Most importantly, never let your partner feel sidelined when you concentrate on this new relationship with your babies. Remember the young ones are too quick to capture it. Make love, show love, and you will get love and they will feel loved.
- Listen to them. If your children are introvert, don’t ask them instead of converse with them. You should never be bossy this will pile up many secrets which will create a bridge between you both.
Now that you have got an insight into what parenting actually means you can look forward to right all the wrong done. Still, there is room for correction. Live a happy life ahead with your young friends.